I am a: Quirky sysadmin. Geek. Gamer. Comic fangirl. My little space, my home on the interwebs. I blog about personal stuffs, work, various coding projects, and anything else I feel like.

Wow, it’s been a week already. I think last week was the longest week I could remember in a long time. *shrug*

I had a chance to have lunch with some of my (now former) co-workers Friday and someone remarked, “Wow, you’re handling this so WELL!”

Well, not really …

I’ve put on a semi-happy face when people are around, but sitting at home by myself, I’ll admit it’s hard not to feel down. I’ve lost all interest in my sites and have for the most part been ignoring my feeds and pretty much all social networks.

I was talking to a friend earlier today and noted that Friday there were some who I’d worked with or for who couldn’t seem to bring themselves to speak to me. I’m sure my getting laid off then being back in the office so soon after made things “weird” for some people. I kept telling myself, “It’s not personal. It was a financially driven decision that had nothing to do with my performance.” (Hell, I even have that in writing!)

But that’s just it … it IS personal. I loved that job. I loved the people I worked with. I even loved some of my customers. I took my job very seriously and always, every day, did my absolute best with pride. How could I not take it personally when I’m told that my position has been “eliminated” and to, “Get your crap and get out.”

Ok, they didn’t really say the last part, but it’s the same if you ask me.

And so I’m taking it personally. I’ve snapped at my family. I’ve cried every time I’d hear from one of my co-workers. I’ve cried every time I’d hear from one of my customers (one of whom gave me an absolute glowing recommendation this weekend). I’ve felt even worse when I check all my job feeds and see no new postings.

And at this point, part of me wishes I had gone into the medical field … there’s never a shortage of jobs over there!

So yeah, I’m not out of “the funk” just yet …