One of my coworkers sent me this:
The Female Demerit System
Do something she likes. You get points.
Do something she dislikes. Points are subtracted.
You do not get any points for doing something she expects.Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her something she wants (+5) In the rain (+8) But return with Beer (-5)
… return with her favorite vodka (+25) ;)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It is her pet (-20)SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while and then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it’s not a sports bar (+3) Okay. It is a sports bar (-2)
And it’s all you can eat night (-3)
It’s a sports bar, it’s all you can eat night and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)
Ok, in all fairness to guys … if we’re there watching MY team +100 points. If we’re there watching HIS team, -100 points. ;)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It’s called Death Cop (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say ‘It doesn’t matter. You have one also.’ (-8000)THE BIG QUESTION
She asks ‘Do I look fat?’ (-5)
Yes, you lose points no matter what.
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply ‘Where?’ (-35)
Any other response (-20)COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem you listen, displaying a concerned expression (0)
You listen 30 minutes (+50)
You listen 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)
Rick Boyer
Where did you get your blog layout from? I’d like to get one like it for my blog.
Hals
That’s great! I have to send that to my boyfriend.