I am a: Quirky sysadmin. Geek. Gamer. Comic fangirl. My little space, my home on the interwebs. I blog about personal stuffs, work, various coding projects, and anything else I feel like.

That’s something an ex says to me all the time, that I’m “too damned soft” for my own good. Maybe he’s right, but that’s just the way I’m wired.

So remember that fanlisting I was gonna let die? Yeah, I felt guilty … FOR A STUPID WEBSITE. Re-coded the damned thing, but I did chop a lot of the custom stuff out and just basically reset it to match most of my other Enthusiast listings. Meh. Didn’t take near as long as I thought it would, only a couple hours I spent coding and testing and re-coding instead of gaming. In fact, I have a couple more ideas for some new fansites. Lord help me, I can’t stop making websites. :P

My week has been craptastic, but at least I’ve kept busy. Work is busy af; my boss is letting me take on more responsibilities and side projects, which makes me kinda happy. More problems (puzzles) for me to solve. Just wish this all came with a raise. :(

I had a follow-up appointment with my GP last week and my test results were not exactly encouraging. My A1C went up by a point and a half, and the liver results were “abnormal” … so I gotta go back and have the latter re-tested. Am not thrilled about that, but it is what it is.

My brother finally announced his engagement. I have not yet met the bride to be, but I looked her up. She looks remarkably like my sister-in-law.

What a surprise, he has a type.

My mother told me that she seems really nice, though she sounds a bit naive. My question to her was: what’s she see in my brother? Then again, I think I remember thinking that about his first wife too. I see patterns of behavior, but no one seems to want to discuss them.

Don’t mind me, I’ll be over here on the side with the popcorn and lawn chair.

Bleh. I have more code to dump for posterity, but I don’t feel like drafting a book today. Maybe later this week? I’m just feeling really drained by everything. Work drains me mentally, family drains me emotionally. I’m kinda mad at my boyfriend, so there’s that too. Honestly right now I don’t know what I’d do without my therapist. She talked me down from a panic attack last week. First bad one in a while, but still not fun. I can feel myself withdrawing already, and I really want to fight it because I know I will hate myself even more later if I don’t.

This cycle self-perpetuates …