I am a: Quirky sysadmin. Geek. Gamer. Comic fangirl. My little space, my home on the interwebs. I blog about personal stuffs, work, various coding projects, and anything else I feel like.

I dreamed about my grandmother last night. In my dream she was exactly as I choose to remember her, fiery and full of life; like she was before my grandfather died, before her breakdown, and before dementia had fully taken her from us. I don’t remember much about the dream now, but it seemed that we were just talking — she was sweet and nurturing. In my dream I had stopped by her house on my way to somewhere, and she was giving me something that I needed in order to get to wherever it was I was going. Now I can’t remember what she gave me, or where I was going.

That’s kind of like where I am in my life right now. Some days I feel really lost. Like I’m missing something in order to move on to some place else.

I woke up feeling a little nostalgic. Spiritually speaking, I believe she’s in a better place now, but I feel a little sad because I miss her very much. Logically speaking, I know that our dreams sometimes are where our brains work out problems. I just wonder if this is one of those times where my subconscious is trying to figure out where I need to go next, and what I need to get there? But a small part of me hopes it was her reaching out to me, to comfort me.

It’s a nice thought.