I am a: Quirky sysadmin. Geek. Gamer. Comic fangirl. My little space, my home on the interwebs. I blog about personal stuffs, work, various coding projects, and anything else I feel like.

Today’s funnies are courtesy of Don:

Would You Remarry?

Wife: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
Husband: No…
Wife: Why not? Don’t you like being married?
Husband: Of course I do.
Wife: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
Husband: Ok, ok, I’d get married again…
Wife: Would you live in our house with your new wife?
Husband: Yes, it’s a great house.
Wife: Would you let her drive my car?
Husband: Yes, it’s almost new, dear.
Wife: Would you give her my jewelry?
Husband: No. I am sure she would want her own.
Wife: Would she wear my shoes?
Husband: No, her size is 5.
Wife: –silence-
Husband: Shiiiiiiit!

After a few years of married life

After a few years of married life, a man finds that he is unable to perform. He goes to his doctor, and his doctor tries a few things but nothing works. Finally the doctor says to him “This is all in your mind” and refers him to a psychiatrist.

After a few visits to the shrink, he confesses, “I am at a loss as to how you could possibly be cured.” Finally the psychiatrist refers him to a witchdoctor.

The witchdoctor says, “I can cure this.” He throws some powder on a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. The witchdoctor says “This is powerful healing, but you can only use it once a year! All you have to do is say ‘123’ and it shall rise for as long as you wish!”

The guy then asks the witchdoctor “What happens when it’s over?”

The witchdoctor says “All you or your partner has to say is ‘1234’ and it will go down. But be warned; it will not work again for a year!”

The guy goes home and that night he is ready to surprise his wife with the good news. So, he is lying in bed with her and says “123,” and suddenly he gets an erection.

His wife turns over and says “What did you say ’123′ for?”

Have a good week, y’all!