I am a: Quirky sysadmin. Geek. Gamer. Comic fangirl. My little space, my home on the interwebs. I blog about personal stuffs, work, various coding projects, and anything else I feel like.

I’m doing OK. I’m still job hunting. Things have been really quiet. It’s now heading into the holiday season, and this is typically the worst time of year to be looking for a job. I’ve had a couple of call-backs, but no offers. Money is tight, and I’m not exactly sure how I’m going to be able to pay my bills next month. But I continue to pray and ask for help … and He’s listening. I just wish He’d direct me towards a job. LOL

Otherwise I think I’m doing alright for myself. I haven’t been posting for several reasons. Jim is apparently reading my site now. I’m surprised that it never bothered him that I wrote about stuff on here all these years. I mean, I had this site before we met … this blog grew out of my private newsletter from my Phrozen Crew/SATUF days and has always been here. In one of our last big fights he chastised me for posting personal stuff in public on my “piece of shit blog.” I don’t know what surprised me most: that he’s actually reading this stuff NOW after all this time, or he really cares what I tell others. I mean, Hell, if he’s that curious, I’ll tell him straight up what I tell other people. But I will say this, he should be more worried about other parties telling a HELLUVA lot more than I am, and that’s all I’ll say about that.

Jessie is doing well. She’s enjoying high school, though a little too much. LOL Her report came back with a couple D’s on it, which she has never had in her entire life. She’s also heavily grounded at my house, which she whines about on a daily basis. Her mother chooses not to ground her for grades, much to Jessie’s delight. Jim has grounded her, but I don’t know to what extent and Jessie tells me I’m being the strictest, so …

I’m working on repairing my relationship with my mother and we’re getting along a lot better now. In fact we’re supposed to have lunch together tomorrow, so I’m looking forward to that. I went to see her and my father this past weekend and visited with family. I have to admit my father showed a great amount of restraint keeping his mouth shut, but I have a feeling that was mostly due to the amount of glares my mother threw in his direction every time he said something. LOL!

My dad’s not doing too well health-wise. He’s lost a lot of weight and has been having bad leg pains from what my mother tells me. He won’t go to the doctor and has been taking a lot of over the counter pain meds — something he NEVER did while I was growing up! That man doesn’t believe in taking pills, which tells me he’s in a lot of pain. Mother said he’s recently started falling, but doesn’t want anyone to know about it. I kept asking him if he was taking care of himself, which he brushes off and says “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Stubborn as a mule …

So I’m filling my days reading, playing video games, and piddling around the house. While I’ve enjoyed being at home all this time, I’m ready to go back to work now. :P

I never much liked being at home during the day, but I must say that having a DVR helps. I watch my night and weekend shows during the day now. The only real problem I’ve had is lack of sleep. Some days I’ll go several days without sleeping more than an hour. Then I’ll sleep OK for a night, maybe two … then the cycle starts all over again. I know it’s stress, and I know once I’m working that will even out, but it sucks in the meantime.

So, there you have it … I’m doing ok, really. Just trying to find a reason to smile, and keep looking for work. I’m trying to take better care of myself and unplug completely on days I’m not doing so well. I keep telling myself: all I can do is all I can do. And am trying to believe that.