I am a: Quirky sysadmin. Geek. Gamer. Comic fangirl. My little space, my home on the interwebs. I blog about personal stuffs, work, various coding projects, and anything else I feel like.

Today’s funnies start off with this one from Cookie:

Understanding Washington Politics

The English language has some wonderfully anthropomorphic collective nouns for the various groups of animals. We are all familiar with a Herd of cows, a Flock of chickens, a School of fish and a Gaggle of geese. However, less widely known is a Pride of lions, a Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), an Exaltation of doves and, presumably because they look so wise, a Parliament of owls.

Now consider a group of Baboons. They are the loudest, most dangerous, most obnoxious, most viciously aggressive and least intelligent of all primates. And what is the proper collective noun for a group of baboons? Believe it or not: a Congress!

I guess that pretty much explains the things that come out of Washington!

And these are courtesy of my mother:

Men

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ‘What setting do I use on the washing machine?’

‘It depends,’ I replied. ‘What does it say on your shirt?’

He yelled back, ‘Ohio State!’

And they say blondes are dumb …

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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ‘I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world … ‘

The woman replies, ‘I’ll miss you.’

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‘It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,’ Jack says as he stepped out of the shower. ‘Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?’

‘Probably that I married you for your money,’ she replied.

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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor.

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Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods.Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I’ll beat him to death.

AMEN.

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Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be men.

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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy.

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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.

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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the email folder ‘Instruction Manuals’

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While creating husbands, God promised women that good and ideal husbands would be found in all corners of the world.

… Then He made the earth round.

:D