Today’s funnies start with this one, the latest edition of Simon’s Cat:
This one is courtesy of I Can Has Cheezburger:
This one is courtesy of BlackFive:
These next few are courtesy of dear ol’ Cookie:
HOW TO SAVE THE AIRLINES:
Dump the male flight attendants, no one wanted them in the first place. Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell!! They don’t even serve food anymore, so what’s the loss?
The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a “party atmosphere” going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women. Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn’t need a salary, thus saving even more money.
Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.
This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right — a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset. Why didn’t Bush or Obama think of this? Why do I still have to do everything myself?
Sincerely,
Bill Clinton
Hey, he’d have MY vote! ;)
HOW TO STOP THE CHURCH GOSSIP
Dorothy, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church’s morals, kept sticking her nose into other people’s business. Several members did not approve of her extracurricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.
She made a mistake, however, when she accused Harold, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town’s only bar one after noon.
She emphatically told Harold (and several others) that every one seeing it there WOULD KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING!
Harold, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment. He just turned and walked away. He didn’t explain, defend or deny. He said nothing.
Later that evening, Harold quietly parked his pickup in front of Dorothy’s house, walked home, and left it there all night.
(You gotta love Harold!)
This last one is courtesy of Geekologie who posted a cute bit that combines the elements of two movies I love — Star Wars and The Princess Bride:
Cookie
Hmmm, I thinks I be a steal’n “The Manslater” frum ya amiga! :rolleyes_wp: