I recorded this on the way last Thursday night, but it’s taken me this long to figure out the best way to post it from my iPhone. :wallbash_tb:
My apologies for the background noise, I hadn’t realize how much noise there is in my car (and can even hear the folding table and chairs rattling in my trunk space!). Please let me know if you have any trouble with the file:
Thursday was a bad day for me, but the last few days have been a lot better … but this has pretty much been the state of things over the last few months.
rednose
cool thanks
RedNose
I am sorry to hear that things are not improving. You should try consulting a marriage counselor but it would take effort from both the sides. You have to work on it and be patient. I hope the things between you and your husband improve soon and next time you post a better state of things :)
RedNose
Please choose a different Name next time. Thanks.
John N.
Nicki,
If you need to talk, PLEASE feel free to call me. Just because you and Jim are both very close friends doesn’t mean I have to/will take sides……because I WILL NOT EVER DO THAT. You were groomswoman in my wedding for God’s sake! :) What I’m trying to say is it’s just like I’ve told Jim, if you need to talk/vent/bitch etc., call me. Anytime. 24/7, 365. You know the number. Love ya lady.
Nicki
Thanks y’all, I really REALLY appreciate it.
kmac
Hi Nitallica,
You don’t know me but I remember you from a time ago, then when you posted you were single, unemployed, no money and I think you got robbed or something and ended up with no computer. I know how important mine is to me and felt for you then , wanted to send you some bits to get you going. Anyways for one reason or another one day I thought what happened to so and so, so I did a little digging.
Your still skint lol,
However that’s not why I decided to write this, your guy sounds alot like me although not the depressed aspect so I thought I would try and explain me and then you possibly might better understand him. Now this isn’t as easy as it sounds cos I find it very difficult to get in touch with my feelings. I often fell out with my ex and because I didn’t respond or should I say I did by “not responding” she got even angrier, when this happened it became even more difficult to say anything which she interpreted as I didn’t care when in actual fact I was stuck trying to figure out how I felt with all the emotions flying about.
We often had those ignoring each other times, again I wanted to do something positive to stop it but didn’t know what to say.
There were times when I said very negative things about our relationship but it came out a bit clinical sounding and she didn’t understand that I was telling her in a unemotional {the emotional part was too hard to understand} worst case scenario about how I thought I felt, but NOT actually really felt only how I could maybe feel. This would be after one of those non responding situations mentioned earlier when I had to think about what I felt.
I could often think that the fact I could not tell her or know how I felt must logically mean I had no feelings for her when in actual fact I did.
To me loving you but not in love with you, means caring about you, happy for you when your happy, comforting and protective of you when your hurt. In love is all that plus the honeymoon excitement in the relationship. But like me he maybe thinks that he’s got it wrong and if he is not in love with you then it’s not right so there is no point carrying on a relationship that is missing something.
Don’t know if this will help you, here a a couple of more practical ideas :
1. When he’s not talking to you give him that emotional space but let him know you will be waiting, accept him as he is but see no.3
2. Discuss his POSSIBLE fears about your relationship and what he wants expects from any relationship.
3. Don’t give in too easy if the shit hits the fan, [my ex did thats why she’s my ex] even when I ended the relationship she accepted it too easy, you have to fight hard to hold onto what you want. I didn’t make it easy for here as I can appear to be very cold and standoffish but the clues were there for her to see.
See ya next time when your flush lol
Laurie Allen
I am sorry to hear that things are not improving. You should try consulting a marriage counselor but it would take effort from both the sides. You have to work on it and be patient. I hope the things between you and your husband improve soon and next time you post a better state of things :)