Sorry this week’s edition is late. Yesterday was Hellaciously busy and by the time I got home last night, I so did NOT feel like sitting down to my laptop. :P
Uncle Monster was kind enough to share some of his wisdom with me some time back, and so I’d like to post them for y’all today. So without further ado, here they are … “Monsterisms”
“Liberals are the barking dogs of society. They bark at everything and nothing but you have to go look before you yell at them to shut up.”
“A government at war can justify any action it takes. Every time our government prosecutes a war against something intangible, (the war on drugs, the war on pornography and the war on terror as examples) our freedom, liberty and civil rights tend to evaporate.”
“The fight against terrorism has the Republicans giving the Democrats the tools and powers they can use to destroy our country.”
“This is not a democracy, it’s a republic!” Something my late father (a Southern Republican) yelled at me when I was a liberal hippie freak college student. I am now more conservative than he ever was.
“Human females are genetically Machiavellian, they require little or no training.”
“Dirt is in the mind of the beholder.”
“If you go looking for sin hard enough, you’ll find it whether it exists or not.”
“One’s ability to properly operate a motor vehicle is inversely proportional to the amount of precipitation falling from the sky or collected on the roadway.”
“My doctor informed me that I can no longer have children, they contain too much sugar and I could choke on the small bones.”
“Republicans disgust me but Democrats are special, they horrify me.”
“Tis a wise man who knows when to keep his damn mouth shut.”
“I once tried to undress a woman with my eyes until my lashes got caught in her zipper.”
“The one thing my mother taught me that I apply to all situations in my life is: ( If it smells bad, don’t eat it.)”
“If a three year old girl hugs me and tells me she loves me, I believe her because she has no agenda.”
“That guy must be a member of the NAAPCP. (National Association for the Advancement of People who Can’t Park)”
“Truth only hurts those in denial.”
“I consider small children to be a good source of high quality nutrition. The toes are the crunchy part.”
Wes
:lol:
Those are some good ones!