What do you call a woman:
- who squanders her income on trivial pursuits instead on utilities and things that are absolutely necessary for herself and her daughter to live;
- whose idea of discipline and relating to her daughter meanders from one extreme to another. i.e.:
- discipline: “I don’t want to be your mother, I want to be your friend”,
- school: “I don’t care if you fail if you don’t”,
- to every day things: “I’ll scream at you whenever I feel like for whatever I feel like, tell you that I wish you were never born, tell you that it’s your fault I can’t keep a man,” …
- who puts herself and her daughter in life-threatening situations
… ?
Jim’s ex.
You’ve heard of “nature vs. nurture,” right? Me, at best I could hope for in Jessie’s case is “domestication vs. DNA” in this case. Everything Jim and I raise her up to be is torn down in no time by her mother, and for (what I can come up with) no better reason than pure spite or sheer stupidity.
I pray that one day Jessie grows up to be 100 times a better woman than her mother is — or even that I am for that matter.
DualDenz
being from a broken home myself, i think i have a reasonable impression of what’s going on. Regretably, there’s little you can do, aside from trying to give Jessie the basic rules and values that will allow her to grow up as a “normal” person.
I don’t think her mother is actually capable of tearing down what you build up, as long as you stick to your guns, you should be ok.
Nicki
Thanks for the feedback, DD. Deep down, I know that all I can do is all I can do, but I still can’t help but worry about her. She’s a beautiful little soul and capable of so much, I just want her to be happy.
Rick
Step-parenting is a tough job; maybe one of the toughest there is. It sounds like you’re already doing the best job you can in these circumstances. Be a consistent, loving home for when she comes back and just deal with the aftermath of her visits to her moms as they come up. In the end, it’s your own calm in the storm that will stick with her values.
I’m touched by the humility of your last comment. My two boys have been involved in 2 divorces, and a third one is in the works thanks to me. I’m amazed at how well they pull through all of it. They’re already on their way to having it more together than I do.