I am a: Quirky sysadmin. Geek. Gamer. Comic fangirl. My little space, my home on the interwebs. I blog about personal stuffs, work, various coding projects, and anything else I feel like.

Jack squat, that’s what.

I swear, these people are worse than BellSloth, and I didn’t think that was possible!

Like BellSouth, the basis of UPS’ incompetency can be summed up in two words: customer service. Unlike BellSouth, they have not been consistently rude or condescending. Every representative I have dealt with over the last 3 months have been courteous (for the most part). However, LIKE BellSouth, several of them would tell me whatever they thought it was that I wanted to hear in order to get me off the phone.

December 4, 2006: I had just gotten the offer from my employer and was informed that a computer was being shipped to me from Dell. It was 2 packages. Cool. By Wednesday the 13th, it was already en route and in Birmingham. I received notice that the shipment was to be delivered that day. Even cooler. I got home and sure enough UPS tried to deliver around 12pm. I signed the note and asked they come back after 6pm when I’d be home. I got home the next night and same thing: a note saying UPS tried to deliver. I called UPS, spoke to a very nice girl. I asked if I could have someone deliver after 2 o’clock the next day, when I’d be home for sure. She told me it was not a problem. I asked what if they tried to deliver early, she said they could make a 2nd round. I asked that they call me to make sure I was home before they tried to deliver. Again, I was told that it would not be a problem and I gave the girl both my home and work phone numbers. Friday, the 15th: I received no calls from UPS. I got home and they had tried to deliver that morning. I called UPS and asked the woman who answered about the shipment. I was told that not only could they not make a 2nd round that day, that they don’t ever try to re-deliver the same day, and that they could not guarantee that someone would call me before attempting the delivery to ensure I was home. I was infuriated. When I repeated everything back the girl had told me the day before, to which she replied, “Well, that’s a training issue then, because she’s wrong and she told you incorrectly.”

?

I then asked if they could deliver on Saturday — no. I would have to be at work Monday and asked if they could attempt a re-delivery after 6pm when I’d be home. She again told me no, that they cannot designate or guarantee a delivery time. She then told me that I could have a neighbor sign for the packages and hold for me — just about all of my neighbors who are normally home during the day were out of town on Christmas vacation. I told the woman that there was no one nearby who could sign for it. She then told me that they could attempt re-delivery every day, but given my work schedule, there was no guarantee that I would be home and eventually it would have to be sent back to the shipper. She went on to say that I could have the delivery re-scheduled for January, and that was probably my best option. I hit the roof — by then it would have been too late because I would have already started the new job and would NEED the computer. I explained this to the woman who then said “I’m sorry ma’am, I can’t help you. You need to choose another option or stay home to get your packages.”

Again … ?

I hung up on her before I spouted off what I *really* thought of them and their “options”. I called back Saturday morning and was told by yet another representative that I could have both packages re-delivered the Tuesday following Christmas. I had told her what the previous representative told me, and she then told me that I had been misinformed.

Gee, what a surprise.

So, I schedule to have it delivered on the 26th. That day comes and goes … no delivery. I called, and was told “I don’t know why it didn’t go out, there’s no notes or anything.”

By this point I’d lost all patience. I explained that I had been told it would be delivered on that day and I sat at home all day waiting for the delivery and it never came. I asked that it be delivered the next day and was indeed told that the delivery would be “re-attempted.” About an hour goes by and I decided to call and make sure that BOTH packages would be shipped to me. Sure enough, only ONE of them had been marked to go out, the other was put back in holding.

At this point I was ready to drive over there myself to get them, but the center closest to me was closed and apparently it’s not where they were being held.

I asked that BOTH packages be marked to go out and was assured, yet again, that they would be delivered.

The next day, I stayed home again … waited all day. When 6 o’clock rolled around I called to see where my shipment was. They didn’t know. They didn’t even know IF IT WAS EVEN ON THE TRUCK! I asked for a supervisor and the rep said, “We don’t have any supervisors here at the moment.”

I blew up … “THEN GET ME SOMEONE COMPETENT!”

Without a word I was put on hold and a lady answered and said someone would call me back within the hour with the delivery time. An hour goes by, no word, so I call again. Again, I was put on hold, then someone tells me that someone will call me back.

30 minutes later, the truck FINALLY pulls up with the computer. 20 minutes after that, a supervisor downtown called to make sure I had received both packages. I informed her that I did and thanked her for calling me back.

I have ALWAYS had trouble getting UPS to deliver things to my house. That’s why I avoid using them like the plague.

But wait, there’s more!

Last month I had ordered some ink from Staples. Staples uses UPS. And guess what? They delivered only one of the two ink shipments. The driver had to come back the next day to deliver the other. When I called to ask why they both weren’t delivered at once like they were supposed to be, I received “I don’t know” — funny, I get that a lot from them!

I ordered something small — like from Christian Gifts (I love their Celtic/Irish stuff!) — and guess what … they LOST the shipment!

I called the phone number and waited patiently for the “talk to customer service option” — They REMOVED it from their phone menu! After dirking around for about 45 minutes I finally found via Google where someone posted that it’s not printed anywhere on the site or in any customer service menu’s, but you can say “Agent” to speak to customer service.

I call back and have the shipment found and delivered the next day without incident.

Oh, but it gets so much better …

The last straw was yesterday when I had packed up the computer to go back to my employer. I had scheduled a pickup the night before. I even called that morning to ensure the pickup would be on time (by 3pm at the latest) and asked that they bring pre-printed labels, as I had specified when I placed the pickup order. 3 comes and goes. I called and spoke to a young lady who told me that “they must be running late” and took down all of my details and sent “an urgent delivery” notice to the driver asking that they come by before 5pm and bring pre-printed labels. 5 rolls around and I call back wanting to know when the UPS truck is coming by. I was told that “someone” will call me within the hour and that she would send another “urgent” notice to the driver. An hour goes by, no one calls. Around 6:30 the truck came by … no labels. PLUS, I couldn’t pay for the shipment AND I won’t get the tracking numbers or receipt until MONDAY, when the guy will come by to bring them to me.

I swear, this is the most fscked up delivery system EVER!

I asked the driver if businesses had this much trouble … he replied “No, we take care of them first, then residentials.”

There you have it … if you’re not a business, you’re not worth Brown’s time apparently.

I asked about the glaringly obvious communication problems between customer service and the drivers/delivery staff. “They are in their own world. We’re in the real world.”

I called UPS one last time, and told them that I would never use them again if I can help it. I told her that I’ve sent MANY letters of complaint over the past 3 years, and nothing has ever improved. I told her that from now on FedEx and the US Postal Service will get my business. She hung up on me.

Oh my, what customer service! :P