I am a: Quirky sysadmin. Geek. Gamer. Comic fangirl. My little space, my home on the interwebs. I blog about personal stuffs, work, various coding projects, and anything else I feel like.

Christmas hasn’t exactly been “the most wonderful time of the year” … and at this rate, never will be again.

Jessie had the full-blown flu. Unfortunately her mother waited too long to take her to see a doctor, so she couldn’t get the shot AND she had a 102 temperature for 3 straight days. Poor thing didn’t eat much at all and had no voice. :( She and I had run out to the store on the way home from her mother’s one night and we were listening to Christmas songs on the radio. She started crying because her favorite song in the whole world came on and she couldn’t sing it: Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.

Even though we had worked out to where Jim and I would have her for the holiday weekend, she was too sick to travel around with us, so her mother had her for Christmas Eve — again.

Jim and I went to my parents’ house Christmas Eve night for the yearly get-together. The night started OK, Dad was bubbly and friendly when we arrived and things went well through dinner and the gift exchange. Jim and I got a lot of nice things. The extended family leaves and it’s just me and Jim, my folks, my brother and his fiance (now his wife) sitting around. Dad wanted us to come back the next morning to do the family Christmas exchange — well, I had spoken with Mom a couple weeks beforehand and we agreed to do it Christmas Eve night because Jim and I would be gone all the next day, and we had made plans according to that. Dad got pissed because we had made other plans and he didn’t want to do the gift exchange that night. We exchanged gifts anyway and he pouted and starting showing his ass. Jim and I said our goodbye’s, then left and went home.

Christmas morning we got Jessie from her mother and her fever was back (but was low grade thankfully) and she hadn’t been taking her medicine AND she hadn’t eaten anything. I gave her some medicine and once her fever was down, we dropped by Jim’s mom’s place for a short while. We exchanged gifts and chatted for a while. His mom had made a huge meal, but unfortunately within a couple of hours Jessie’s fever had come back. We gathered a bit of food to go and headed home. Poor Jessie pouted and cried all the way home. She didn’t want to take any medicine — and has apparently been talking her mother OUT of giving her any!!!! I spoke with her mother that afternoon and she told me that Jessie told her “Mommy, this kind doesn’t work so I don’t need any” and so she didn’t make her take anything!!!! I was floored. I swear, this woman wants full custody of this child but doesn’t want to be a mother. Jim and I spoke with Jessie and she got a talking to about the whole “medicine thing” and I’ve spoken with her mother and (have hopefully) convinced her to continue to medicate Jessie as instructed by her doctor.

*sigh* … moving right along …

Now, I hadn’t posted about this because it was a secret, but my brother had planned his wedding for December 29th, as a surprise. I didn’t want to ‘blab on the blog’ in case Christy ran across one of my entries.

Christmas Eve night we’re at my parents’ house finalizing the meetup time and details. Everyone agreed to be at my parents’ house early that morning for the wedding. Jim and I drop in and pretty much everyone was there already. Dad greeted us at the door — or rather, he opened the door and glared at me. He was “less than friendly” for pretty much the whole day. Jessie was with us and of course all of the family made a fuss over her and made sure to tell her how much they all missed her at Christmas and hoped she was feeling better and being really sweet — or rather, everyone except my dad. He maybe spoke to her once. Mother spoke to her a little. But neither one of them spoke to Jim at all. Dad pretty much ignored me the rest of the day. Hell, half of the guests didn’t even know who I was. (many of them I recognized from photos Jeremy had shown me or I’d seen via his MySpace) One of Jeremy’s friends was sitting by us during the reception and asked who I was related to (the groom or the bride) and I told him I was Jeremy’s older sister. He had a very surprised look on his face and said “Man, nobody knew who you were! So I figured I’d ask!” He was sweet, but that made me feel worse.

Dad made sure to introduce the limo driver to everyone, but not his daughter.

Anyways, the ceremony was short and very cute. They pretty much hurried through everything and left in a limo for the airport. They are honeymooning in Alaska. When it came time for us to leave I waited around because I had wanted to talk to Mom and Dad before I left. Dad walks by and I said “Well, I think we’re about to head out” (thinking he’ll do his usual stop and try to convince us to stay and/or take some of the food) … to the contrary, he says “OK” and turns around and walks off.

I know my face had to have been completely transparent. My grandmother saw it and I knew she was upset. Jim was pissed and was holding it together long enough to get me out of there before I lost it. We walked out the door and after getting into the car Jim says “Your dad didn’t even so much as hug you did he?”

“No.”

I cried all the way home. I know he’s upset with me, and I know that it was Jeremy’s day, which is why I didn’t make a scene or say anything to anyone, but I don’t think I deserved to be ignored.

I was talking to a friend yesterday afternoon after getting home and he asked me what was wrong … I replied “I was an outsider at my own brother’s wedding.”

I cried a bit more and Jessie, bless her heart, did her best to try to cheer me up. She didn’t know what was going on, but she knew that it involved my dad and that I was hurting. I slept most of the afternoon and woke up with the worst headache last night. Jim made dinner (hooray for Wendy’s!)

All I can say about this holiday is: it sucked on an emotional level — like a huge proverbial black hole. And I will be SO GLAD when December is over so that I can put everything behind me and move on. I am extremely thankful though for those close to me who I know love me and have been supportive of me when I’ve needed it lately. Hell, I’ve unloaded on poor Teresa several times the last few days. I talked to her for 2 1/2 hours last night and honestly felt better than I had in a while. :)

I love my friends. If I didn’t have y’all, I wouldn’t have any “real” family.

I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas.

I’m looking forward to the new year, and in keeping with last year’s resolution I will make the same again this year — not to make any more resolutions. :grin:

Love and Blessings to you all!