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University of Alabama Director of Athletics Mal Moore released this afternoon the following statement regarding the status of the search for a new head football coach:

He fucked up and needs to redirect our attention rather than taking responsibility for his actions.

“While I remain committed to not engaging in a lengthy public dialogue on the progress of our search for a new head football coach, I want all of our fans and supporters to know that we appreciate and understand the tremendous interest in this process…”

…even if I don’t give a rat’s ass what you dumb rednecks think or how much/little Bear would have approved of who I pick next.

“I am very pleased with where we are in this search. I know there have been many rumors speculating about candidates and timelines and, while I won’t get into specifics of who we are interested in, I want everyone to understand that we have not contacted any college coaches who have not yet completed their regular seasons.”

Talk about firing me, will ya? Let’s see, who can I pick next just to piss you off …

“While I do recognize the need to get a head football coach hired soon, I am less concerned with following a timeline than I am about making sure we hire the right person for the job.”

This is all about ME and the sooner you baboons realize that I’m God, I’m always right, and you’re wrong, the better off we’ll all be.