Ladies, let me ask you something: If your man calls another woman by the same nickname or petname that he calls you, wouldn’t you be upset?
Here’s what happened: This morning Jim called a lady we both work with “Sweetie” … which is the very name he has called me ever since we first met. I have never heard him address any other person (except Jessie a few times) by this name, and I always took that as it was his name for me.
Now, I’m not jealous over this. The lady he called that is a friend of both of ours, and I know he didn’t mean anything by it, he was trying to be nice (and he has been kind of an ass around here to a lot of people lately).
But what pissed me off, and is usually the reason I get mad over “stupid shit” was the fact that when I try to explain WHY I’m upset, he blows it/me off. I felt like I was less special because what I thought was his petname for me he used on someone else, someone who wasn’t family or me. Dammit, that’s the name he has called me for the last 3 friggin’ years!
Maybe I am blowing this thing out of proportion, but I hate it when he minimilizes me and/or my feelings about something. That really pisses me off. I try to always listen to his side of things and take his feelings into consideration, but he’s so quick to dismiss mine if he thinks something’s stupid or insignificant. That makes me feel stupid or insignificant.
Am I wrong?
Father Luke
Nita:
You know that I like to think about things
and try and examine both sides of anything before
I throw my two cents worth in.
With that in mind. . .
Love him. If you love him, then love him. Call him your pet name you have for him.
Why?
I worked a Suicide Hot line for years. It was a good way for me to have a place to sleep on rainy nights, I worked the over night shift, and it was one of those experiences I wouldn’t be able to re-create .
One of the tools I had was teaching despondent parents how o get their kids to listen.
“You know how to get your kids to listen,” I would ask the parents. They all wanted to know.
“You get your kids to listen to you by listening to them.”
It works, Nita.
When you are communicating, then broach the subject of what you need with Jim. Do broach the subject, do bring it up. And do it in a supportive environment which you have created for both of you.
Then go cut the achille’s tendon’s of that other woman, and laugh at her when she falls.
Hope that helps,
Father Luke
Nitallica
LOL, Padre I so love you.
Jim and I talked about it not long after I posted, and I explained how I felt. He said he didn’t realize that I felt he was minimilizing my feelings.
His explanation of the whole incident that started this was “I needed to be nice and that was the first word that came to mind … that, and ‘Darlin’ sounded too condescending.” LOL
He is the way he is, and I love him for it.
Although the Achille’s Tendon bit made me laugh out loud, that shit’s funny, lol!
Ben
I call my sexy lady pickle and wouldn’t call any other girly pickle at the same time while seeing the current girly (not that i’d be seeing other girlies, i’m quite happy at the moment with my current sexy pickle). However I do call all my female friends princess, who knows if the current said girly would be offended…
I call people sweetie as normal, it’s a word i use, along with love, gorgeous, chicken, baby etc etc.
I wouldn’t take it personal. Just remember that at the end of the day YOU know and HE knows your his “sweetie”. and thats all that matters.
p.s – silly text box thingy still being a pain by jumping to top as i type… Will update firefox to see if it’s a bug, if not will mess with HTML and see if it’s a setting you can tweak. :)
Nitallica
LOL Ben, “pickle” must be one of those words you loveable Brits have mutated its meaning into something that we Yanks would never have thought of … (like ‘fag’ and ‘fanny’ for instance, LOL!!)
I see what you’re saying about the text box thing, I think it’s the Preview plugin. I’m looking into it. :)
Ben
Nah she eats baby gerkins out the jar, hence she is a sexy lump of pickle. Theres no hidden meaning to it. Just that if i think of pickles i think of her. which is kinda sickening but also very sweet… or so I think.